A lot of people have been asking about true love; is there such a thing; if so, what is it? Is it attainable; if so, how attainable is it? If it were just love, I wouldn’t have so much difficulty. But, true love?
Talking about true love is risky business. I can imagine taking a poll, going around asking people who are looking for true love what it is they’re looking for and getting different answers and a lot of “I don’t knows.” Given its subjective nature, it always comes down to one’s interpretation or experience. A never-ending number of questions always seem to get raised.
Let’s establish that what we are talking about when we say ‘true love’ would not be referring to how a parent might feel towards his or her child or a child towards a parent, between siblings. The more traditional connotation of true love leans to, at very least, an emotionally intimate relationship, one that lasts a lifetime. It may be platonic, it may sexual. But for the purposes of this discussion we will first explore what may be some common core elements of true love and of true love that includes sexual intimacy.
As we continue the discussion about what true love is, we will see that a number of related questions are raised.
Is true love, love at first sight? Or, does it come later in the relationship?
True love may and often does begin during the initial encounter, when two people are meeting for the first time. However, the spontaneous, eye-to-eye spark, when time gets compressed, when an irrepressible stirring suddenly before they even talk happens more often in the movies, quite rarely in reality.
After ‘…first sight,’ the two people will eventually have to talk to each other. For then, they will get to see how they feel being together. That spark will either ignite or be kaput, depending on how it feels to be together, which is largely determined by the quality of their rapport. The highest high can go to the lowest low in the blink of an eye.
It is possible that when there is rapport, some kind of mutual discovery occurs; that they like being together (a lot), that they like each other (a lot), that they have this incredible chemistry, that they communicate about anything and everything; and that this turns them on even more. They can become quite excited by their rapport, but when attraction, desire and sex enter the picture, their excitement is further peaked.
Is true love a matter of luck or something that was “meant to be”?
Whether or not it was a matter of luck or their destiny to end up together, there is a strong likelihood that there was an initial rapport. It’s not luck when conscious intention meets purposeful action. It doesn’t just happen. Two people make it happen.
Rapport is a joint effort creation -- two who are people united in purpose, who place a high value getting to know what each other thinks and feels, who want to connect deeply, and are doing so.
During a rapport, there is a bridging of experience, understanding is achieved. Let’s establish one criteria of true love as being able to say, “We understand each other,” which often begins during the initial encounter.
Along with the ability to achieve a deep mutual understanding is comes a variety of other pleasant surprises. When gazing into each other’s eyes and communicating on a deep level, the feeling of knowing one another elevates the level of excitement. “We know each other like no one else does.”
For some, the experience of being able to be completely open, free and understood may be the highest of all highs.
How long does true love last? Does it fade over time?
It is reasonable to assume that if they did it once, they could do it again. However, there are no guarantees. What bears out in reality is that true love will last as long as both people are able to continue to communicate intimately. It may work to look at each and every encounter as a relationship in itself, independent of the others. It may also be considered that when there is consistency over time, the continuity will deepen their relationship, strengthen their bond.
Is true love the same thing as ‘being in love?’ Being with that special someone? Being number one? Being turned on? Having great sex?
What does it feel like? Is it a high or rather mundane? Does it have substance or is it merely a bundle of excitement?
Is it a long plateau of fixed contentment, like being “happy ever after?” Or, is it a never-ending, ever-deepening journey fraught with relationship threatening challenges?
Answering the above questions will require that some important distinctions be made beginning with true love versus ‘being in love.’ Being in love is an altered state of mind. It is a peak experience – exciting, intense… and temporary, tantamount to being high, running on adrenalin.
When ‘in love,’ two people may feel extremely turned on to each other, but how intimate they are is another question. They may feel clear-headed and certain about each other while they’re in love, while forgetting that they’re looking at each other through the lens of idealization, and are often disillusioned and overwhelmed when reality sets in. They are expecting, assuming or hoping that their altered state of mind will last indefinitely. Chances are they don’t have the experience in relationships that would tell them real intimacy is lacking or hasn’t yet been achieved and/or that they haven’t yet been challenged by negative feelings, conflicts or differences. It is more likely to be that they are basking in the false security of their distorted perception.
Another important distinction is true love and great sex.
Confusion is evident in the words often used to describe our sexual encounters. “We were intimate.” “We made love.” Physical or sexual intimacy becomes synonymous with true love or emotional intimacy. A common pitfall when there is attraction, desire, great sex, etc, is to assume more of a relationship than there is.
In light of this confusion, it’s safer and more accurate to not equate true love, or, for that matter, emotional intimacy with attraction, desire or sex; and not to equate the two. Even great sex in no way guarantees emotional intimacy or a great relationship. The two are separate entities and there is no correlation between them.
One reason for this confusion is that emotional openness and sharing are considerably harder to achieve than the excitement, pleasure and ease associated with sex. Once again, it’s a trap of false security.
Does true love depend on the prevailing conditions and circumstances at any given point in time, a matter of being in the right time and place?
If there are conditions and circumstances conducive for true love, we may consider them to be contextually based relationships. There is a variety of situations that fit into this category. One is when two people meet when traveling away from home, outside of their usual reality. Another is work-related. There are a great many occupations that afford co-workers intimate knowledge about each other, and endless opportunities to earn respect and trust. In the military, for example, soldiers live and train together for months, sometimes years, and must rely on each other in battle. Police and firefighters also spend large chunks of time together and must depend on each other. Actors travel the whole spectrum of emotions, baring their souls to each other. And people who’ve been through an extreme experience together, i.e. a natural disaster or a terrorist attack, naturally seek understanding and support from the only one who had been through the same experience.
In contrast, a natural setting is in the natural course of life, independent of an imposed structure, when you must rely solely and entirely on each other to create and sustain rapport.
In these types of situations, it’s quite common to explore whether they’re able to sustain intimacy, whether their relationship can continue to work outside of the context in which their relationship grew, in a natural setting. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t. When their relationship works in both settings, they may be more inclined to use true love to describe their relationship.
Also, when sex enters the picture, a whole other set of dynamics will enter the picture. An intimate platonic relationship doesn’t necessarily translate to a sexually intimate relationship.
When it comes to true love, intimacy may be the operative term; true love being interchangeable with true intimacy.
While intimacy may be the operative term, true love may also refer to a bond that goes above and beyond intimacy. We might say, “They are hitting on all cylinders.”
Friday, June 17, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
What Makes A Man Sexy
By Rachelle Arlin Credo
What makes a man appealling? Is it his dashing good looks? Is it his rock-hard pecs and abs of steel? Or is it his smile and his personality that takes the top plum? In a society where everyone seems aesthetically astute, it's difficult to validate this question for sure. Sexiness is a very subjective matter and is very relative at that. It holds inconsonant views from each individual just as everyone squabbles over tastes in clothes and food. Hence, a universal answer to this blown-up question is an illusion. Nonetheless, having met men from all walks of life with radical styles and personalities, I think I can provide authentic down-to-earth revelations regarding this subject.
So what makes a man sexy? Take your whiffs off the following:
1. Masculinity
There is more to a man than his firm butt and washboard abs. True, what a woman first notices is his anatomical assets but what lingers in her mind is not all that. It's his inherent masculinity. It's in the way he languidly struts across the room with a show of adequacy and grace and the way he flashes the glint in his eyes that ultimately creates the spark. It's also in the manner that he moves and talks that keeps women's eyes riveted at him. Being masculine does not merely suggest flaunting a large build or a protective quality but having this natural instinctive masculine self to trigger women's instinctive feelings of attraction.
2. Smile
A natural sweet smile is one of the greatest attraction of a man. It exudes an aura of congeniality and establishes charisma presence. It also breaks a woman's resistance and communicates hidden messages without any verbal language. This is why a man who is generous with his smile is guaranteed to maintain a women-magnet profile!
3. Eye contact
A man who knows how to have eye contact is a man who knows how to communicate. Women just like men are absolute attention seekers. They want men to listen and to take heed of the things they say. Thereupon, they demand affirmation. Eye contact is a way of ratifying. It makes a woman feel sufficiently attended to and cared for. Eye contact makes women feel so extremely special that they tend to sometimes melt right on the spot.
4. Confidence
Confidence makes a man. There's just something about the appeal of wealth and power that women can't resist. Antithetical to how most people view it, giving off that commanding vibe isn't always dependent on one's bank account. Men can actually take on that aura of authority just by moving through life with an air of self-assurance and a boost of self-esteem.
5. Aromatic sense
If a man is a making of a heartthrob onscreen and is a hunk on a ramp but stinks, he definitely goes down the cutthroat world. No woman likes a man who smells a bit too ripe like he just spent 24 hours locked in the bathroom. If a man looks good and smells even better, women are bound to swarm around him.
6. Sense of Style
Some men just don't seem the type to go with the fashion trend. But it does not mean that they are passe. Some just have their own personal preferences and resist the lure of punked-up garments. Actually, it's not the clothes that make a man sexy. It's how he carries his apparel with confidence and ease that does. Clothes don't entice women, it's the man that makes those clothes look good in him that wiles them.
7. Communication skills
Intellect is a factor in today's attraction equation. We are in such a competitive world that anyone without it is immediately slighted. But intellect without communication skills is not an attractive product. Conversational skills are necessary for any man to win the tilt. He must know when and how to start up a conversation and carry it on 'til it tapers off. He should not patronize women and is not so full of himself. It is believed that if a man is able to stimulate a woman's brain juices in a conversation, it is likely that he can stimulate her other juices as well.
8. Sensitivity
Sensitivity is sexy but too much sensitivity is feminity. So where do we draw the line? When we talk about sensitivity on the right scale, it means having a sense of empathy, confidentiality and trust rolled into one. When a woman confides something, a man's initial reaction is to help her find a solution or fix it himself. This is not sensitivity. When a woman expresses her feelings, she just needs an ear to insorb the steam out of her being. A sexy man sees this through and gets women everytime.
9. Sense of Humor
Laughter releases chemicals that create a sense of well-being, which is a wonderful turn-on. A man equipped with a good sense of humor automatically wins his points on the sexy scale with women. With the mighty use of his expression and wits combined, he becomes an addiction that women just can't get enough of. Women think that if he can evoke them with laughter in public, chances are he can also make them giggle in bed.
10. Oddity
Extrinsic and intrinsic personal abilities and traits that are considered unique and superior by a woman's biology and also by the society to which she identifies with are, to varying extents, very charming to the female species. If a man has the gift of music or have potential fancy footwork or simply has art at his fingertips, he can charm his way anywhere. A mysterious facade that keeps her intrigued and guessing is also deemed bewitching. But a man's resistance to a woman's seduction is considered the prime. It's effects are naturally ingrained into the "sex" part of a woman's brain that it drives her motors purring all the time.
What makes a man sexy is but everything about him and even more. Whether it be on the surface or skin deep, it's just a matter of projection. Every man is sexy in their own ways. They just have to feel that in themselves so the seething sexiness comes out of them naturally.
© 2005 Rachelle Arlin Credo. All rights reserved.
About the Author: Rachelle Arlin Credo is a freelance writer and web columnist from the Philippines. She writes on a variety of topics for print and online publications. Feel free to check her website at
http://www.rachelle.co.nr/
Source: http://www.isnare.com/
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=13507&ca=Womens+Interest
Understanding How Women Attract Men
By Elliot Beers
The dating scene is populated with two types of people - the haves and the have-nots. While the first group enjoys a steady stream of suitors and relishes in the excitement of romance, the have-nots are left alone wondering why they can’t seem to find the right person. For women in particular, the latter can be frustrating since it is often the men who initiate the dating process. But understand how women attract men can go a long way to improving the fortunes of those who are struggling to garner attention from them.
~ Looks Aren’t Everything
One of the first mistakes than many women make when trying to attract men focusing too much on their appearance. They become so obsessed about how they look that either go overboard on cosmetic enhancements or they attribute every lost dating opportunity to the fact that they didn’t wear the right outfit. Of course we all know that appearance is a big part of first impressions, but bringing too much attention to your looks can be overwhelming to men. They can become intimidated by your high standards and you can come across as too uptight if you are always dressed to the nines. The best advice is to look nice, but be careful not to present yourself as plastic or untouchable.
~Compatible Interests
It may be hard for some women to believe, but men do think about other things than sex. Considering that most of the waking hours of a relationship are spent outside of the bedroom, it is safe to say that you will need to appeal to a man’s general interests and hobbies if you are going to attract them. This doesn’t men you have to start playing basketball, but it does infer that you should have a well-rounded approach to life. Stay in the know with recent events, and become familiar with the attractions of your city. You need to be able to entertain your date with more than just talk about work and family.
~Curiosity Attracts
It can be tempting to ramble on about yourself when you meet someone new. You may not have dated in a while and you are starving for someone to listen to your stories. However, you should be careful about divulging everything about your personal life. You want your man to become curious about you so that he keeps coming back for more. By leaving hints and suggestions that you have much more to offer him in the future, you will peak his interest and keep him hooked. Men love to fantasize about the potential of a woman, and they soon lose their interest when they feel they already know everything about someone. Use this to your advantage by keeping the plot moving along like a good book.
Most women dealing with frustrations in the dating arena are too hard on themselves. They think they lack the good looks and personality needed to attract a man. The truth is that it is often only their presentation that needs some tweaking. By understand how men think and what they want, you can take your own unique attributes and feed them to your date in a way that keeps them wanting more. Just remember to be yourself, have fun, and slowly reveal your inner secrets.
Source: www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=219337&ca=Dating
Monday, June 6, 2011
Who Should Relocate In A Long Distance Relationship?
By Maria Madeira
My Dear Lover,
Soon or later, you and your beloved will have to take the decision of who should move, because it is very hard to live apart.
Moving will change your life drastically, you should what you and beloved really wants from life, you need to communicate, communicate and communicate until you arrive to a very clear understanding about your expectations, It is your future.
Here are some questions to help you make the decision. Will you have to "give up" of your domestic animals? Does your beloved love having cats, dogs, birds, etc. at home?
Any of you already have children? How well will they accept living together, now as a new family? There are good schools for them in the new place? They like the new place? How about their friends, they accept being apart from them? Can they keep their current activities, like sport, etc. in the new place?
Are you moving far away from your family? If you are a kind of person that is very close to your family, it will be very hard not. to be with them so often. Maybe your parents are "old" and need your assistance. You have the right to build your life, your happiness, your love, but I think it isn't fair to leave your parents alone most of the time, when they most need your help. And if you already have children, can they live far away from their actual family? They are willing to have a new family?
If you are divorced and your ex lives near to you, will he accept your new mate? After all he comes from "nowhere", and almost from one day to another, he is already living with you.Of course you can't let your ex be the main reason for you to live your life, where you want, and with who you want, but if your ex is a kind of person that don't accept that you have a new mate, you need to be prepared to deal with that.
Can you live in the new area, possibly, for the rest of your life? Do you like the weather? The culture? If you are an urban lover and will move to a rural area, can you live with that, or will you miss the urban live too much?If you are a kind of person that can adapt very easy to new environments, this is no problem at all, but if you are not, and decide to move, you will need all the help, understanding and support from your beloved, for the more "difficult" phases, be aware that he knows that. Do you really know the new area, or you have been there before, only for a couple of weeks in romantic holidays? Try to know better the new area, if you can spend more time there and not. only when both of you are in holidays, before you move forever.
God forgive me, but if things don't go well between you, and you decide to you should end your relation, after you move, will you come back to your old home, or will you live in the new area? Can you live there, without the support of your family and old friends? It will be a very difficult time for you.
Well, with all these questions, it might seem to you, that this is a very difficult decision to make.It is a big decision that will change your life forever, you need to be very clear about your expectations.
But my most important advice to you is to listen to your heart. True love is so precious and can overcome any difficult.
Don't measure the distance, measure the Love, Maria Madeira.
About the Author: P.S.: Being in a long distance relationship since 2003, Maria Madeira share her advices, her experiences, her help, teaching how to survive a long distance love.
Join to "Long Distance Love Help" newsletter now. It's a heart to heart ezine that will help you in so many ways! http://www.distancelovinghelp.com/
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Buying Gifts of Sexy Lingerie for the Woman of Your Desires
By Anna Notton
The world "Lingerie" is a French inspiration from "linge", meaning washable, originally referring to linen, the fabric of European undergarments before the introduction of cotton. During the late nineteenth century, women were released from restrictive bindings. The beginnings of sexy lingerie were in corsets that became smaller, eventually leading to the creation of the brassiere.
World War II found women assuming the workplace in roles normally occupied by men. Practicality dictated comfort in fashion with undergarments made of lighter more breathable fabrics. In the 1960's, manufacturers began the glamorization of lingerie. The 21st century exploded with undergarments that doubled as outerwear. Modern technologies and new fabrics have woven a love affair with rich-looking fabrics in a plethora of styles that rival the imagination for beauty, creativity and adornment of the female body.Bras and panties come in myriad fabrics in an overwhelming variety of styles for a customized fit that suits personal desires. Cotton reigns supreme for comfort and health. Mind-boggling selections exist in every color and this season's popular prints that offer soft, silky, cool underwear that is machine washable. Bras are available for every body type in push-up, underwire, demi, unlined full coverage, racerback and multi-ways. Many cotton selections incorporate lycra for stretch that offers a product that conforms to the shape of the wearer for incredible fit and comfort.
Panties are available in bikinis, low-rise, thongs, string, hiphuggers, high-leg briefs, cheeky, tap pants, boy shorts or G-strings. Cotton, cotton/lycra and lycra/spandex offer choices that are comfortable, cool, stretchy or light control and shaping.
Diaphanous, sheer babydolls, chemises, romantic, negligees, jersey or cotton sleep tees, or sexy separates, like tees and camisoles combined with boy-shorts/loungewear are a sampling of body-conscious nightwear collections. Hot colors in fabrics that are sheer or cut to flatter, create diversified options for all tastes, shapes and sizes.
Private parties at home might entertain the fantasy of dress-up incorporating sexy hosiery, garter belt and G-string, or the merry widow, a sexy, one-piece lace-up corset and adult toys. Role-playing fun might showcase the French Maid for fantasywear.
It's been said that men don't fall in love with the woman, they fall in love with how the woman makes them feel about themselves. Few things stroke the male ego more effectively than the partner who has put effort into looking alluring for the sole purpose of pleasing him. The tease of strategically bare flesh is hard to resist. Smart choices in erotic lingerie and toys provides female confidence that men find irresistible. Powerful romantic encounters are ignited with the combination of self-confidence, the tease and positive feelings that sexy lingerie can inspire.
When a man gifts a partner with erotic, intimate apparel or toys, he is telling her he loves the sight of her. She inspires him. He thinks of her in her absence. The gift of sexy lingerie can provide uplifting self-confidence to a woman's concept of herself. Buying highly personal items can be a daunting, intimidating experience for a man. Today, the shopping experience is assisted with personalized customer service or online support to insure that your ideas translate in the perfect gift.
About the Author: Enjoy discreet shopping with Canada's leader in Vibrators. Shop online today!
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Sunday, June 5, 2011
Behind the Camera - London's Secrets...: Streamate - They sort of suck...
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Your Premier Lifestyle + Beauty Magazine: Eyehoney blazes into the NewYear with sexy female ...
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